What to expect on a gay men’s week

No two weeks are the same and so it is impossible to say exactly what will happen. However they usually have the same basic shape, as do our weekend events.

Beforehand

Once you have booked and sent your deposit you will get an acknowledgement. You may well get an invitation to join an e-mail discussion group made up of those who have booked. This can be useful in arranging lifts or helping with other travel arrangements and also, perhaps, sharing interests for possible workshops and other ideas of what might happen during the week. A few weeks before the event you will get information on how to get to the venue, what to bring (and not bring), contact details and some more information on the event along with a reminder of the ECC Principles and Intentions, Vision and Values which underlie all we do.

Arrival

If you haven’t been to an ECC event before you may find the first minutes a bit overwhelming. We try to make things easier by ensuring that newcomers are looked after, that they find a bed, are shown where the essential things are and are helped to settle in.

The first evening

After the first meal together there is usually a short opening circle for everyone to introduce themselves and where information is shared about how to get through the first night.

The first morning

After breakfast there is the first big ‘Go-Round’. This is designed to be something of an ice breaker and usually every one is asked to say who they are, where they come from and what their hopes are for the week. There will be other information to share about the venue, the week and what is happening. One of the ways we try to ensure that participants – especially newcomers – get the best out of the week and are supported by the community is to encourage them to join a ‘Base Group’ which meets late afternoon every day. If there are a lot of men on a week making friends can be difficult. A base group helps you to get to know a small number of men rather better than might be possible otherwise. Membership of each base group is arranged this morning.

During the week

You may well notice a big timetable displayed in a communal area. This shows the fixed times, such as meals and if the week is themed, the timetabled sessions. Otherwise the timetable is blank. On the first morning there may well be a session for those who are interested in offering workshops or other events and the meeting will help to resolve duplication or timetable clashes. After this the timetable gets rapidly filled with lots of activities on offer. You don’t have to do everything, though, only what you want to do. Many people bring books to read, make time to relax, to sit and chat or just enjoy the peace and quiet of the place and the lovely countryside.

What happens on a week largely depends on what participants bring to it and the range of workshops can be hugely varied. Favourite activities include early morning swimming, meditation, long walks, cycling, canoeing, croquet and volley ball; workshops have included massage, keeping a diary, listening to music, sharing poetry and other writing, painting and drawing, t-shirt painting, circle dancing and yoga. You might have a skill or interest which you would like to share. We have an ECC electric piano which is brought along to each week.

It is a tradition, though not compulsory, that the community presents a cabaret towards the end of the week. Everyone is welcome to offer something if they wish, there is no pressure to take part and there is no audition. Each contribution is honoured. There is usually someone who will accompany you if you want to sing or dance. You are invited to bring your own costume if you wish and at some venues there is a dressing up cupboard. It is usually an uproarious and sometimes a very moving occasion.

The final evening

The last evening comes all too quickly. After supper there is the final ‘go-round’ at which everyone is invited to say a word or two about how they have found the week and whether their hopes were fulfilled. There may well be a closing ritual.

The final morning

If you need help with transport arrangements this will have been done earlier in the week. Otherwise this morning is the time for farewells and promises to keep in touch and to meet again.